Monday, February 27, 2006

Flash Update: Polar Bear in Ridley

In a startling turn of events, polar bear attacks are in the news for the second time in the last week. Here, the photo above shows Julie "Laser Light" L. of Warwick, RI, the unsuspecting, victim of the attack. Sources inform the Pancake Breakfast that the bear's name is Baxter and he's known for being a little gentleman and wearing stylish hats and scarves.

Julie is in critical condition and could not be reached for comment. Baxter is still on loose and believed to be in Milwaukee.


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Rudy meets the Rainman!

If any of you have caught SportsCenter, you’ve seen the story of Jason McElwain. He’s the 17-year-old, equipment manager for his high school’s varsity basketball team. He’s also autistic. Up by 20 in their divisional championship game, McElwain’s coach put him in the game. With four minutes to go, he went 6-for-10 from behind the arc and scored an impressive 20 points. Jason was carried off the floor, in a touching moment, by what appeared to be the entire school.

Having experienced Tim Welsch’s Maris Laksa experiment, I’ve been exposed to letting an unlikely player shoot an ungodly number of threes. I was struck, however, by the other team’s reaction.

Imagine this, you’re season is about to be over and you’re down by 20. Life isn’t good. The opposing coach is so sure of victory that he puts in his autistic, team manager. Now, his first attempt is an airball, so you probably feel for the kid and only plan on playing half-heated defense. It’d be cool to see the kid score. Next trip down the floor, he sinks one. You have to figure at this point, the Rudy moment is over and the other team is gonna try to slow everything down. Next thing you know, they’re racing down the floor to get the kid another bucket. This keeps going on and, before you can blink, the kid’s laid 20 points on you AND you’re going to be on SportsCenter for the next week.

You already know where I’m going on this one. At what point, does the kid guarding J-Mac start “challenging” him a bit more? I’d be cool with the kid getting a bucket or even hitting double-digits, but I just don’t think that I could let him light me up quite that badly. There has to come a point where you try to make the kid work on defense or put a hand in his face. If I thought that it could be a major, national story, let’s just say that I wouldn’t want to be walking around with the “I can’t believe that this autistic kid just dropped 20 on me and my coach is still making me guard him” Face.

In a related story, Isiah Thomas just offered J-Mac a 6-year, $72 million contract.


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Sunday, February 26, 2006

It is now time for...


The Ultimate Weapon.

In my undying quest to make this blog the greatest blog ever, I have now invited a new contributor to our forum. I am pleased to inform you that he has accepted my invitation.

The Ultimate Weapon is an avid sports fan and hilarity-specialist. I won't share any more about him for the time being. I think that it's best that we let his posting speak for itself. I'm sure that it will be beyond illuminating.

As always, stay strong.


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Saturday, February 25, 2006

School Vouchers

It’s been an odd turn of events that brought the school voucher issue to this blog, but I thought that it would be worthwhile to post on. My view is that vouchers would help our school systems. Due to good fortune, I was the beneficiary of Catholic grade school and high school (I didn’t walk into a classroom without a cross over the door until about a year-and-a-half ago). At these private schools, I was treated to a very, high level of learning and was continually challenged by my teachers to reach my potential. One major element that contributed to that quality product was the fact that my parents could have pulled me out of the school at anytime and take their business elsewhere.

Imagine two parents, both working full-time but unable to afford private schools, with two children in grade school. If their children aren’t progressing as fast as they should in math and reading, what recourse do they have? I suppose they could go to their school committee and complain, but will that even achieve more than a “we’re working as best as we can” from them? For these parents, I think that it’s essential that they have the option to better the lives of their family. Vouchers present that option.

I don’t think that vouchers will kill public schools, which is a valid concern by choice-opponents. Most programs that have been put forth only involve shuffling students within states or counties. This is significant because it means, since most spending comes from the state level, that it will not affect the amount of money that is going to public schools. It will, however, put pressure on principals of those schools who are losing students to find ways to improve their own schools.

Most importantly, in my view, if a city is losing a disproportionate number of students, this will be invaluable when it comes time to negotiate teachers’ contracts. Put simply, it’s a chance to break the educrats (educators + bureaucrats). Before you accuse me of gunning for teachers, please remember that it also cuts the other way and teachers will be able to show the high quality of their work by the desire of parents to move their children to their classrooms.


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Friday, February 24, 2006

Hooray Beer


Just got back from a late breakfast and some shopping in Delaware. I picked up my normal 30-rack of Pabst (they’re sure clinging hard to that ribbon they got back in 1893) and a bottle of Fin du Monde. Alas, there was a bonus for me today. With the purchase of a case of Sam Adams Winter Lager, they give you a sweet, Sam Adams March Madness pint glass. Talk about (tax-free) droppings from the gods. Needless to say, I pulled the trigger.


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Some friendly advice from Mr. Norris

“I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness toward another person’s viewpoint while still holding fast to what I know to be true and honest.”

I was struck by the truth and beauty of Chuck Norris’s Code of Ethics and decided for a bit of a change of pace today. Inspired by Mr. Norris, whose code is also my computer’s background, I wanted to take a few moments of your time to discuss the three most important virtues in considering others: respect, reflection, and care. I’ll take each in kind.

Respect

As many of you are aware, I am a big fan of C.S. Lewis. In “The Weight of Glory”, a beautiful essay, he reminds the reader that he has never met a “mere mortal” or “an ordinary person.” Stating it in his simple, yet regal prose: “It is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit.” We are immortals in a temporary world (not in the Highlander sense, but the Christian one). Next to the Eucharist, the holiest object that you will ever encounter is your neighbor.

From this, we are called to approach each other seriously. Our interactions are not meant to be deathly grave, however. As Lewis put it, we must play and experience that “highest form of merriment.” That being said, I believe we can properly position ourselves in this discussion.

It is unwise, borderline sacrilegious, to treat others flippantly. This is probably one of the more difficult challenges that we face as humans because it is so easy to forget, especially when confronting someone that we don’t particularly like. As difficult as this may be, it does not excuse use from answering that call.

It also means that Chuck Norris is immortal.

Reflection

My senior year at Providence, I was lucky enough to stumble (quite literally at times) into a philosophy course taught by Dr. Matt Cuddeback. One day while discussing Kant, he fell into a tangent on the importance of words. Even the most basic word has a precise meaning that is unique to itself. In sports, an example would be the difference between ‘quick’ and ‘fast’. The legal equivalent is the difference between ‘not guilty’ and ‘innocent’.

The benefit of this is that it means that we are able to clearly state what we mean. We’ve been blessed with the opportunity to precisely translate our ideas into words that we can share with others. I’m sure that you already have spotted the problem that it creates. Since there is such great precision available to us, we must always be careful with the words that we choose. When taken with Lewis’s words of caution above, it becomes utterly important that we take that care. If we fail to, then we run the risk of being disingenuous with our fellow man. After two years of law school, I’ve come even more to appreciate the importance of taking time to reflect on what I say before I say it and even more time when I commit it to paper.

For these reasons, Chuck Norris doesn’t use words. He relies on roundhouse kicks to let people know what he’s trying to say.

Care

I hated “The Great Gatsby”. Among most students at Hendricken, I don’t think that I was alone in that feeling. As with so many revelations in my life, my opinion changed on the book while at PC. The Other Dr. Esolen summed up the book perfectly: the difference between Jay Gatsby and every other character in the novel is that Gatsby is a careful man. He wasn’t careful in the sense that he was cautious. He was careful in a way that showed concern for those around him. This is the great revelation that Nick Carrway experience at the end of the book – the difference between a good person (Gatsby) and a bad (just about everyone else) is the ability to care about others.

This is important to the present discussion because it highlights my previous two points. If you’re a careless person, you will fall into the same trap that snared Gatsby’s Daisy. We all have troubles. They could be worries about school, money, or polar bear attacks. As Chiclet has so aptly pointed out, it is easy to be consumed by our own small worries, especially those that we create within ourselves. But if we find ourselves so wrapped up in our own worries, to the point where we are unable to find joy in our mingling, we are unnecessarily denying ourselves the satisfaction of companionship. This is one of those virtues where it’s more than just a law that you should obey; obedience, here, will actually enrich our lives.

Of course, Chuck Norris doesn’t have worries about trivial things like polar bears or taxes.


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Sports Links

What Sports Illustrate – I found this article by Dr. E while bumming around Google looking for links. Dr. E has a wonderful ability to seamlessly tie together topics like sports, sex, religion, and camaraderie. As always, he throws in a twist at the end. If I could write a tenth as well as this guy, this blog would be da bomb.

Scottie Pippen on the Disaster in MSG – The Knicks are screwed. Their general manager is the sports equivalent of Fredo Corleone. Their coach is a guy who likes to play the right way and is charged with leading 12 guys who don’t know how to play the right way. Just to add icing on the cake, they’re in the wildly intense media market. Thankfully, they’re in the Atlantic Division and make for good cannon fodder.

The Jimmy Chitwood Story – Don’t even need to explain this one.

Dismantling the Jets – This week the Jets cut several players of note. They included Ty Law(CB), Jay Fiedler(QB), Jason Fabini(LT), and Jerald Sowell(FB). You’ll notice that each of these players are good or better. They’ve also asked their “franchise” quarterback to take an 89% pay decrease. On the bright side, they’ve brought in a new coach who is going to have to implement an entirely new system. Don't worry he's never been the head coach of a team. I love the AFC East.

ESPN & The Objectification of Women – Vote on who the hottest female athletes are. I’m a big fan of Maria Sharapova and that ice-dancing lady. Don’t know how Swin Cash and that snow-boarding chick got on the list and my lady curlers didn’t.

Miracle on Ice – This week marks the 26th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice. The link sends you to ESPN’s homage to the 1980 team. Unfortunately, I wasn’t alive when it happened. I did get to see the Miracle on Turf, so it all washed out in the end.


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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Links: The Lazy Man’s Way

Steinbrenner guarantees victory – Cannon’s thoughts on the matter: this guarantee is probably the result of a 14-hour, Tom Collins bender with Joe Namath.

Roommate Death Struggle – Not me and Cannon. Now, we’ve all had disputes with roommates. It’s pretty rare, however, that a TP dispute results in death-by-claw hammer.

Freckled Curvy Paradise Update – Lindsay Lohan is apparently “infatuated" with Angelina Jolie. This is perhaps the greatest story ever. Remember that every time that Lohan makes somewhat-lesbianish statements about another hottie, an angel gets a.....um. Well, let’s just say that an angel gets something pretty awesome.

Stabucks in Stop & Shop – There are some combinations that need to happen. As a general matter, the more opportunities for coffee the better. All that I need now is for The Elm to open up a “to go” bar in WalMart and I’ll be all set. Thanks to Chiclet for the heads up.

Mom v. Yogi the Bear – This is an amazing story of a mother jumping in front of a polar bear to save her 7-year old son. I heard about this one on the radio yesterday and it’s pretty cool. In an equal feat of bravery, I killed a spider in my kitchen this morning. It was a very large spider.


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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

The Wide World of Fandumb

I’ve always lived in a little cocoon. I’d root for every team in New England, listen to The Score, and read the ProJo. Occasionally, a Yankee fan or Packer fan (in the mid-nineties) or Laker fan would interlope into my world. Those brief encounters would never affect me in any way. It was almost always good-natured and the back-and-forth barbs never operated as anything more than guy banter.

My world was absolutely rocked when I got down to Philly. I thought that I loved the Sox a lot, but these folks take it to a different level. Eagles fans are like religious or political zealots. This love flirts dangerously with what CS Lewis would call obsessive love. They are also highly attuned to the way that other fans and analysts talk about their Birds; slights are found lurking in the shadows of every Inside the NFL.

It’s also not enough that they love their team. They’re obsessed with the “passion” of the city. Almost every commercial pimps this notion that they are the most passionate fans in the world. The callers to the local, sports-talk shows scream to the hosts about how much they love their team and how “embarrassed” they are when the Eagles lose. It’s like the Crusades, except with more blood and a deep-seated hatred for Michael Irvin.

If I had more time, I’d love to travel to all different cities and experience fandom there (it’d make a great book). I wonder what Packer fans are like and how is it that Dodger fans can come late and leave early. Are there other zealots out there or is Philadelphia truly unique? Do Cleveland fans feel the same way about the Browns and Cavs that Boston fans felt about the Pats and Sox? Keeping in mind that John Elway and Michael Jordan both got their reps for being clutch against C-land the same way that Dan Marino and Derek Jeter have ripped the hearts out of Bostonians.

I've wondered about these differences for a while. More recently, they were brought to life in a post on the The Axis of Right in a Yankees-are-the-bomb-because-they-have-more-rings post, which is a unique attitude held by Yankee fans (unless Canadiens fans are the same in hockey). I find this interesting because it never would have occurred to me that Philly and the Boston-area would have such different cultures, especially since the cities are topically so similar, and I wonder just how different different it can get.


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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I've got a fever and the only prescription is....

more curling.
The Google gods have smiled upon the greatest, non-conventional sport that man has created. The American women are done, but the men have gutted it into the medal round. U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!


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Same-Sex Marriage Debate

The last year or so the debate on same-sex marriage has become more and more prominent, especially due to the Massachusetts’s Supreme Court. It’s particularly loaded because of all the different balls that are floating in the air. Marriage has obvious religious meaning, but is also just another form of state licensing, similar to driver’s and liquor licenses, at its base. (Expandable Post)

My argument is that the state should get out of the “marriage” business altogether and just issue civil union licenses, which you and your church can call whatever you want. This has the semantic advantage of not carrying all the weight that marriage has and avoiding equal protection issues (amongst others).

For many, if not most, marriage is much more than a driver’s license. The union touches upon the deepest emotions and spiritual notions that are well beyond my ability to discuss here. So I will focus on what marriage means from a legal standpoint. By marrying, a couple is the beneficiary of several, default legal rules. They include property rights, inheritance rights, the ability to make decisions on behalf of the union in the event of incompetence and death (burial v. cremations, etc.), sexual monopoly, insurance and taxation. It is noteworthy that many of these benefits can be contracted (property and inheritance), but many cannot, like insurance and taxation.

So now that marriage has been described very roughly, the next question is why? This is where much of legal debate has centered. For proponents of keeping marriage the same, the central reason is procreation. Marriage and its benefits are bestowed by the government in order to facilitate the production and rearing of children. Keeping the union solely inter-gender acts as a gatekeeper; it’s imperfect from the perspective that infertile marriages are possible. However, it doesn’t have to be perfect to pass constitutional muster.

There are many responses to the procreation rationale. The first, as hinted at above, is the reality of infertile, heterosexual coupling, which captures the elderly and younger couples who, for whatever reasons, aren’t capable of producing children. A second is that, since marriage is perhaps just another licensing law, there is not a rationale state interest in locking some of the population out. Finally, proponents argue that even if it is conceded that marriage is all about procreation, same-sex couples can still produce and rear children.

Aside from which arguments you may find satisfying, I hope that you can see that there is an element of both sides, not talking at each other per se, but speaking different languages. Since the civil and spiritual notions of marriage of become so intertwined, that is right for traditionalists to want defend their turf. At the same time, it is more than reasonable for homosexuals to want some sort of legal protection. That is where civil unions come into play.

Under my plan, all couples will apply for civil union licenses. In just about every way, they will be the same as marriages. The difference will be that the spiritual notion of the coupling will be taken out of the state’s end. In that sense, it will nearer to any other license that the state may issue. It also has the benefit of not affecting any religious element. It may be semantics, but I believe the distinction is important.

My plan is far from flawless. I still don’t know how to weigh same-sex unions in adoption cases. There is a relative paucity of information on the effects of children being raised in same-sex households, so that is an area where a decision should be made later rather than sooner.

I’m sure that I’ve missed something and I’d welcome any thoughts that any of you might have on the issue. This is a rich issue and I think that it presents a great opportunity for debate.


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Links: In Praise of Younger Cowboys


In Praise of Elder Dogs -- This one is very creepy. These people have created a blog to mark the final days of their dogs. I thought Ron loved Baxter a little too much, but this lady kicked it up a notch. I was struck by this line from their most recent post: "let Cooper go to The Rainbow Bridge with cheese on his breath." God speed, Coop. God Speed.

Curling Rock Hat -- I found it. Very stylish and only $24.95.

Drinking Advocacy -- Wow, these guys are passionate, booze lovers.

Mr. Breakfast -- It’s the most important meal of the day. This site has some interesting breakfast-related resources.

The Gay Cowboy trend has really taken off. There are countless parodies of the Brokeback Mountain trailer. All the best ones take random snippets of other movies and "Brokeback" them. Hilarity ensues. Here are the best:
Star Wars (Droids)
The Office
Lord of The Rings
The Empire Breaks Back
Spongeback Squarepants


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Monday, February 20, 2006

New Contributor: Connect4 has arrived.


I’d like to extend a warm, overdue welcome to our newest contributor. Connect4 is a smart, funny guy who loves baseball and math. He brings a lot to the table and I can’t wait to see his stuff.

To use a sports analogy, Connect4 is the missing piece to our championship puzzle. Much like the Red Sox getting Curt Schilling, we’ve got a new Ace. Thankfully, we won’t have to dump any of our old Aces for salary purposes.


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Links: Why the shit not?

Offensive t-shirts brought to you by Maxim. -- I’m a big fan of “Designated Purse Holder”.

"Bin Laden vows never to be captured alive – Isn’t that our plan, too?

FLASH BULLETIN: AFRICAN-AMERICAN WINS OLYMPIC GOLD – Somewhere Bryant Gumbel is smiling smugly/drinking Colt 45. Douche bag.

Interesting Chafee v. Laffey Analysis – I’ve tried to stay away from this race here, but I stumbled upon this page while surfing during FedTax. I’m not too keen on his characterization of Senator Chafee as “incompetent” and “stupid”, but the author has hit the nail on the head in terms of his understanding of demographics in RI. The comments section that they have also contains some interesting debate on the race.

DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers – Wonderfully, tasteless site that is devoted to getting “mad mothers to stay at home and cook and clean where they belong.” Wow.


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Friday, February 17, 2006

Curling Update


In an utterly, exciting match, the US Women’s Curling Team rallied from 3 behind going into the 10th and final end. Unfortunately, they lost in the extra end (EE) and have been eliminated from the medal contention. Even more unfortunately, NBC cut away from the match to go to....a women’s hockey PRE-GAME SHOW! What the hell!?!

Changing pace a little, I just was on CurlGirls.com and I decided to check out their message board. The earlier posts, before the games started, were very benign. They were mostly well-wishes from friends, family, and curling enthusiasts. As soon as the games started, the creepy guys started to show up. Most offer marriage and undying affection. The others are more, well, bizarre. Here’s a smattering.

“There's a mistake in Cassie's bio.They forgot angel-faced princess and the most beautiful girl in the world.” – John

“3 things:
1) You are all beautiful
2) I am in love with all of you
3) I want to be a professional curler
4) Dinosaurs!” – Eric

“Penn State University is now obsessed with curling! We've tried it with pots and pans in the frozen parking lot! Best of luck and go USA!” – John Elsman (Not creepy, but very funny.)

“Maureen, I am totally in LOVE with YOU, marry me and you'll never see the inside of a Home Depot again.” – Bill (Several of the girls work at Home Depot.)

“By the way, Cassie, I'm single and would love a curling date.I have never been curling, but it is definitely in my future plans.” – Todd

“Hey girls, nice job against Sweden. Cassie you are so hot but a choker. Maybe when you come back you can choke on this. GO USA!!!” – Shaun White (the most offensive post, by a lot)

“A message to the USCA/USOC...Don't send a bunch of GIRLS to do an ADULT'S JOB!!!!” – Jo Bobb Briggs


What did I learn from this? That I should probably never have any daughters. If I do, I will do absolutely everything in power to keep them off TV.


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Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Awesome Day: The Running Diary

AWESOME FLASH UPDATE -- 9:33, Wednesday, February 15

Note -- Due to the wireless issues mentioned below, I was unable to update after 12:30 yesterday. I still kept the diary running, however. Things didn't work out perfectly, but they worked out. For those keeping score, the final 'beers drank' count stands at 9. Enjoy.

7:10 – Alarm has been ringing for about 10 minutes. It’s very cold in my room and I don’t feel much like getting up. Then, it dawns on me....IT’S AWESOME DAY!?! Amazingly, this gave me the strength to hop out of bed. You’re the best, Awesome Day!

7:27 – Good morning and a Happy Awesome Day to y'all! I’m coming to you live from Folsom, PA in stunning Technicolor. Much like the Carpenters, I’ve only just begun...to have breakfast. This morning the fare includes Cap’n Crunch and coffee, with a little Irish in it. Feeling good.

7:41 – I’ve decided that Awesome Day needs a theme song. It’s need to be upbeat, but majestic. I’m leaning towards something by Journey or maybe “You’re the best....AROUND”. Not sure, I’ll have to think about it in the....

7:45 – Shower.

8:07 – Out of the shower. I’m looking quite dapper in a grayish-blue sweater, jeans, and I have the tinsiest bit of “product” in my hair (for the ladies). You’ll notice that I’m not wearing red or black. Clichés are for those other “holiday”. So awesome.

8:16 – Off to class.

9: 24 – Finally, I have arrived at my desk in Camden. Funny thing happened when I was walking in. I saw a hobo that looked like Bernie Williams. He was drinking a beer in a brown paper bag, of course, and pilfering the ash tray in front of the law school for “shorts” (the hobo term for half-smoked cigs). This is the kind of thing that only happens on Awesome Day.

Also, good news on the theme song front. I’ve decided that the Awesome Day theme absolutely must be “Saturday in the Park” by Chicago. It’s an upbeat classic and makes you feel oh, so good.

Anyway, in-class until 10:20. I’ll catch you on the flip side.

Update -- 10:23

10:01 – Just had an email exchange with one of my bestest (female) friends, who I’ll refer to as The Big Deal (TBD). Well, I was trying to explain to her the spirit of this Holy Day, but I don’t know how successful I was. I think she got it, but I don’t know if she’ll truly “live it.” This concerns me.

10:09 – Realize that it’s important that we all make Awesome Day resolutions. It’s important that these promises aren’t demoralizing or unrealistic. I wouldn’t want someone to vow to lose 15 pounds, fail, and then hate themselves for it. I want them to set reasonable goals, like “I will eat 3 meals today,” or “I’m going to skip all my classes and watch the Dukes of Hazard.” My Awesome Day resolution is to drink 4 beers before noon and eat no less than 2 cupcakes. I think that I’m gonna make those goals become successes.

10:21 – Done with class. Oh, sweet freedom, I love thee from the sub-cockle area of my heart. I feel born again and very thirsty. Tuesdays are so good, but even better today.

Update -- 12:40

11:07 – One of the most important aspects of today is the giving of gifts. Tradition holds that you must give one DVD that costs less than $8 and a gift that makes no sense. Towards this end, I went to Target. [WARNING FOR CANNON: IF YOU’RE READING THIS, SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT TIMESPOT. GIFT SPOILER TO FOLLOW!]

I am more than pleased with my shopping at Target. I got Cannon U.S. Marshals and an Accutire Tire Pressure Gauge. Another thing that I forgot to mention is that, on this day, we don’t wrap gifts in paper, we use blue jello. It serves two purposes. The first is that it is better for the environment. The second is that it is a very, rich metaphor that I haven’t quite worked out yet. I also bought myself some shower cleaner and garbage bags. It’s good to pamper yourself on Awesome Day.

11:33 – Driving home from Target, I realize that it will be very difficult to keep my resolution of drinking four beers before noon. Uh oh.

11:38 – Arrive home. Immediately pound PBR, eat a cupcake, and then shotgun a beer. That’s what makes today so special, challenging yourself.

11:50 – Still working on beer resolution. Found a great site that lifted my spirits and challenges me to be a better man: Safety Not Guaranteed. I just put on my Celtics head band and I’m still drinking.

12:02 – Spirits soar when I see Hoosiers on one of the Encores. Continue drinking third beer. Past time limit, but I’ve talked myself into the idea of Beer Resolution Overtime. Here’s hoping that it isn’t sudden death OT.

Mood = Cautiously Optimistic.

12:13 – See that Cannon has posted a comment on the board and lifts my spirits. I was starting to get worried that I was just writing to myself, which is pretty foolish. Glad to see that I answered his third question (on the giving of gifts). Now I must think of a color for the holiday and a symbol. He gave good ideas, but I don’t want to marry myself to any yet.

Mood = Pensive.

12:29 – Still watching Hoosiers. The “I love you guys,” speech right before the state finals. It’s my absolute favorite point in the movie and is always sure to deliver a trip down the goosebump highway. God really is smiling on me today. I’m also on my 4th and final beer (for the foreseeable next couple of hours).

12:34 – As I type this, I’m watching Jimmy Chitwood single-handedly beat Goliath by himself. Coming soon will be “I’ll make it” and victory for David. Absolutely fantastic. On that note, I just finished PBR #4 and the Hoosiers theme is playing. I doubt that even the birth of an adequate, male heir could rival this moment. It just got a little dusty in here.

Mood = Uplifted.

Final Update

12:50 – I’m beginning to “wrap” Cannon’s present. To get myself into a festive spirit, I put on everyone’s favorite holiday classic, Man on Fire.

2:35 – I realize that I haven’t posted in a while, but there isn’t much new to report. I’ve begun the process of “wrapping” Cannon’s gifts, which is good. I’m also still watching Man on Fire. In fact, my favorite line of the movie was just said. It’s the one where Christopher Walken is talking to a Colombian police officer and he let’s out this gem: “A man can be an artist at anything. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasy’s art is death. He’s about to paint his masterpiece. Stay out of his way.”

My masterpiece is Awesome Day. Stay out of my way.

I’ve also been working on my response to The Octogon’s post, but I’ve been running into wireless issues. Here’s hoping that it sorts itself out.

3:15 – Movie is officially over. I’ve run into a serious snag on the internet connection-front. This whole thing is starting to throw a major wrench into the whole Awesome Day thing. I’m going to give it another ten minutes and go get some lunch if it’s still not working. Hurumph.

3:25 – At this point, I am beyond frustrated. I have the deepest desire to do some research on The Octogon’s post, but I’ve only been able to get about half of it done. ARGH!

What started out as a really, great day has turned into a fiasco. If I was into Nietzsche, I would probably question whether or not I owned my laptop or my laptop owned me. Since I don’t buy into that crap, I’m going to go eat a sandwich.

4:07 – My spirits are somewhat lifted for a couple reasons. The first is that I just had a delicious lunch that consisted of an Italian hoagie, a cupcake, and a salad that was absolute slathered in BBQ sauce (I remember my ABC’s). The second is that I briefly lost all internet service, but I got it back. Finally, I got a call from Mama Bear and talked to her for a few. All in all, it could be a lot worse.

4:29 – Guess not. Internet is still down. When today started, I didn’t exactly envision spending Awesome Day trying to figure out why the fuck the apartment’s internet is all screwed up. I’m gonna have a beer and try to calm down.

4:53 – Still not working and I’m still not calm. I’m just about ready to give up on this whole Awesome Day thing. Ugh.

5:36 – One more problem. Now, Cannon’s gift isn’t wrapping (gelling) properly. I have no idea why.

7:16 – Decided to treat myself to Cold Stone. It was absolutely fantastic. Nothing can make you remember what Awesome Day is all about like a “Gotta Have It” of Peanut Butter Perfection.

Even better, lady curling is on MSNBC (US v. Japan: WWII with higher stakes). Curling is my favorite, non-conventional sport. I even just learned that there are time-outs in curling. The Japanese ladies just called two back-to-back to talk strategy with their coach. I swear that I’m not making this up. Throw in some attractive ladies who like they’re from Minnesota and you’ve got yourself a winner.

7:32 – The Lady Curlers are going into overtime. I didn’t even know there was OT in curling. Double bonus: two of the Americans are sisters.

7:36 – OH MY GENTLE JESUS!?! There is a “Sexy Ladies of Curling” Calendar that’s coming out. This is like droppings from the gods. A couple of hours I was freaking out because of stupid, techie issues and now I find out there is this. Ain’t it funny how life can turn around in a snap? I think the credit has to go to Cold Stone.

7:44 – Not to beat this to death, but they just cut to a guy in the crowd wearing a curling hat. Not a normal hat with a curling patch or anything like that. It was a hat shaped like one of those rock things that they throw/sweep in front of. Now you know what to get me next year for Awesome Day.

7:51 – America just lost. I’m still trying to find naked, lady curlers on the net. Unfortunately, the crappy connection is starting to come back and haunt me.

8:55 – Apparently, Awesome Day involves watching a lot of TV. Who knew?

9:29 – Still on the couch watching TV, but now I’ve got Jello. Actually, it’s not Jello. It’s more like Jello-like, in a runny, blueish kind of way. I guess it’s delicious. Either way, I’m eating it.

9:51 – Cannon just got home. He seemed to really like US Marshals and the tire gauge. He actually said that he needed one. Go figure. Now, I’m going to enjoy some La Fin du Monde (a snazzy, Canadian beer) and sign off for the evening.

I hope that this has been somewhat funny and/or entertaining. I’ll see you next Awesome Day.


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Mission Statement

Good morning, everyone! Happy Awesome Day (working title)! Before we start, I wanted to share my mission statement with you, my beloved friends.

The mission of Awesome Day is to make a positive difference in my life and the lives of those singles that I care about through a loosely organized, alcohol-fueled, running diary, and to assist others in making this day, today, more enjoyable. Most important, I will keep it macho and keep it safe.

For Awesome Day to be successful, I’m going to have to remember my ABC’s.

Alcohol,
Barbeque, and
Caring.

If you’d like to draft your own mission statement, find out here. If you haven't got any idea what I'm talking about check out yesterday's most recent post.


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Monday, February 13, 2006

Valentine’s Day: Iconoclast Style

The definition of ‘iconoclast’ is “one who attacks and seeks to overthrow traditional or popular ideas or institutions.” In this spirit, I have turned my all-seeing eye upon the institution of Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is a cute holiday. There’s a lot to get your hands around. You’ve got your candy, Barry White songs, nice dinners, and making out with your lady. I get it and I can get down with it. My problem is that, annually, I spend it alone. Many people do so as well. More significantly, I don’t like the fact that The Man makes him feel bad about it.

Now it’s normal to feel lonely. In fact, I think it’s a good thing; it reminds us that it is important to share and value the love of others. Think about this analogy: that being thirsty doesn’t prove the existence of water, but it does prove that you are meant to drink water. It’s the same thing with loneliness.

That being said, screw Valentine’s Day. Screw the flowers. Screw the cards. Screw Sleepless in Seattle. Screw the whole damn thing. I’d say “Screw Barry White,” but he’s the Man and I don’t disrespect the dead.

I’m revolting. Wait, that didn’t come up right. I’m revolting against Valentine’s Day. Tomorrow, I declare war. I am going to have the best, god damn day of my life and there’s nothing Nora Ephron can do about it. I’m going to drink beer, watch guy movies, drink more beer, and I’m going to love every minute of it.

Most importantly, I’m gonna keep a running diary of it tomorrow. There will be numerous, shorter posts by me tomorrow as I log what is sure to be the greatest day of my already, great life. As the day rolls on, feel free to post comments with suggestions on how to make my day even more awesome or for something that someone else could do to make their day awesome. Maybe you think I should complete the alcoholic hat-trick, The Three Wise-Men. Maybe you’ve got this great idea for prank that I could on someone. Maybe I should go to the zoo and flip off the monkey? Who knows?

Stay strong!


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All Snowed Up!

onLike most of you reading this, I was snowed in for the majority of the weekend. Since I was all by lonesome and without da foosball, I had the opportunity to dig into my bookshelf and DVD case. Here’s what I rocked:

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance – This western starred Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne, AND Lee Marvin. Talk about a murder’s row. Stewart plays a lawyer who moves out west to an unnamed state. He’s a principled lawyer, fresh out of school, who took Horace Greely’s advice “literally”. Of course, he gets attacked almost immediately by Lee Marvin. John Wayne plays the hard-ass rancher who is the only man that Marvin’s Valance is afraid of. Death ensues.

Looking back, this is probably the best western that was ever made. It has a subtlety that The Searchers lacked and miles more heart than any of Eastwood’s spaghetti westerns. What gets lost in the shuffle about John Wayne is that, in addition to his being the greatest ass-kicker that ever walked this earth, he could add the subtlest nuance to the most, seemingly flat character. An absolute, must-see. I give this one: Five Snowflakes (out of a possible five).

Wimbledon – After catching the end of Spiderman 2, I was craving some Kirsten Dunst action. This one isn’t great, but it’s funny enough to keep you interested; Dunst is hot; Paul Bettany is believable enough as washed-up, near-retirement tennis pro. In short, it’s enough. Let’s give it: Three Snowflakes.

Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix – Excellent book. This is my second favorite Potter book (Azkaban is tops).

I spent the weekend alone. I read a Harry Potter book. I’m a loser. Let’s give the Boy Who Lived 4 Snowflakes. Moving onward.

The Office (First Season) – Funniest show on TV by a lot. This one was probably my favorite Christmas gift this year. One of the benefits of this show is that you can watch the episodes in just about any order and still enjoy it (which is a beef I have with most shows on DVDs). It also has the “I could really watch [insert description of an episode]," mojo that most shows lack. This puppy gets: 4 Snowflakes.

The Olympics – Watched some lady hockey and dudes practice skiing. Commentary was ridiculous as always. This was more background noise while I was reading than anything else. At least the Special Olympics is funny. On the other hand, America rules. This gets a resounding....1.097 Lonely Little Snowflakes.

Truth & Beauthy: A Friendship by Ann Patchett – Not quite finished with the book yet, but close. This is a quasi-autobiography about Patchett’s friendship with the late Lucy Grealy, a fellow artist. Grealy was the author of An Autobiography of a Face, which chronicled her bout with childhood cancer and the havoc that it reaped on her face (and personal life). Both are good reads that I had for my Law & Lit class. I’m giving these ladies: 3.789 Snowflakes.

School Work – Toiled for a few hours Saturday night with Federal Income Tax. Bleh bleh bleh. Zero Snowflakes.

Heat v. Pistons – Great game. I caught the last half. Up to this game, the Heat were something like 0-7 against the top teams in the NBA. Make it 1-7. It was Dwayne Wade-tacular. 3.5 Snowflakes.

Lazy Sunday (The Chronic of Narnia) – I wanted to end on a positive note and this bad boy is the way to do it. I watched this video about 47 times over the last 72 hours. The set-up of this SNL video is simple: Chris Parnell and Adam (Andy?) Sandberg hardcore rapping about their afternoon. Hilarity ensues. It gets: 4.8287 Snowflakes.


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Update: Gomes Style

It’s getting to the point where we should probably rename the blog or something. Here’s some more on Green #4.

In his first start against the Blazers, Ryan played 36 minutes. He went 2-for-4 from the floor, netting 4 points. He also pulled down a hearty 9 rebounds, four on the offensive end. Oh yeah, the Green Machine also won.

His second start was even more impressive. He played 44 minutes in yesterday’s game against the Magic. Remember that last Thursday he was just averaging 8 ½ minutes a game. Considering this guy has been piling up DNP-CD’s (Did Not Play-Coach’s Decision) for the last few months, this is a very promising sign for the young forward. In his 44 minutes, he posted a career-high 14 points and another 9 rebounds. Throw in 2 steals (and another win for the Green) and that’s what I call magic.

For shits and giggles, here's the link to the best Celtics-related blog on the net.

Let’s just say, I’m thinking about laying down some jack for the NBA League Pass. HOLLA FRIARS!!!


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Le Morte de Cabo’s

Where’s our money?

Johnny Cabo’s was a landmark. My first time at Cabo’s was during a trip down to check out the law schools in the area. Cannon raved about the place and insisted that we go. Taking one bite out of that delicious Texas Burger, my spirits soared. It was delicious. They also had their own beer, Lone Star, that tasted suspiciously like PBR. Factor in a festive, Texican motif and you have a winner. I was in heaven.

Within a few months, I found myself living in Cannon’s apartment, called down on the last second to a summer session at Rutgers Law. After everyone had left to go back to their own lives, I was alone. Sitting in a vaguely unfamiliar apartment that was now “home”, I felt awful. I did what any guy would do: I went to Cabo’s for dinner and drank heavily.

After I had been down for awhile, I became buddies with a guy I’ll call “Steve”. “Steve” would come down to the apartment, hang out on the porch, smoke cigars, and bring, what we called, “good times”. When Cannon would come down to check in on me (and to make sure that I hadn’t destroyed his place), we would sit around for what seemed like hours figuring out where we good for dinner/libation. Without fail, one of us would finally break down and say what the rest of us had been thinking: “Let’s just go to Cabo’s.” It was the place to be. Anytime guests came down, we’d always end up there. Everybody loved the place.

With time, Cabo’s changed. It began to close down the kitchen earlier and focus more on becoming a hot spot at night. At first, we welcomed those changes, especially on $.25 draft nights. But something happened; the familiar waitresses stopped working there. It would only open for dinner on some nights and the bar on others. There were still good times, but something was different. The last great night there, it was me, “Steve”, Cannon, and Mac, a buddy from home. Late into the evening, Cannon broke a glass. We had a hearty laugh and switched tables. Shortly after, Mac turned to me and asked, “Want me to break this glass?” Of course I did. He dropped it on the floor. It broke. We left. That was it.

Just like that, Cabo’s would never be the same when we went back. Within a few weeks, it closed down. There wasn’t even a sign.

I’m telling this story because I was in the old neighborhood last Friday. I drove through the old complex and stopped in at the Wawa, where I had been every day for a about a year. Curiosity got the better of me and I walked over to the Cabo’s from the Wawa parking lot. It looked exactly the same as it had months earlier. There were still a lot of dusty fixtures inside. No one had obviously been in there in a long time. The only sign of human life was a note left on the dust of the front door:

“Where’s our money?”


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Friday, February 10, 2006

Shock(er) & Awe

God bless America.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!


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Thursday, February 09, 2006

Links: They’re like steel.

Just throwing some grenades. Enjoy.

Cat Fight – Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban on his recent lady fight with Phillip Jackson: "I own Phil Jackson. Not literally of course. That thrill belongs to the smartest businesswoman in professional sports, Jeannie Buss [Jackson’s girlfriend and team executive]. Figuratively however, the coach formerly known as the Zen Master must now be considered my bucket boy.” That’s not something one dude says to another dude.

The Nice Guy Syndrome: Every holiday, Health Services at Rutgers sends out a “don’t kill yourself email.” The Nice Guy Syndrome is a perennial favorite of mine. If I heed the tale’s warning, perhaps next Valentine’s Day I won’t get drunk on Schlitz and watch the Karate Kid Part II all by myself. Nah.

100 Things You Need to Know About Women – In keeping with the relationship theme, Maxim has prepared a list of things that YOU need to know about ladies. Number 79 offers words to live by.

Reading the Right Books by John Granger – Granger is the author of “Finding God in Harry Potter.” The book is a really insightful look into the series and shatters the myths about their being satanic. I’m a big fan of the series and really appreciate the work. Rowling does a wonderful job of creating a world in which basic virtues are stealthily held up for children to absorb. In many ways, I think that her work is just as rich as Lewis’s Narnia and, depending on the outcome of Book 7, Tolkien. If you are a Potter fan or enjoy the discussion of Lewis and Tolkien, you should also check out his site, the Hogwarts Professor.


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Is it Gomes time?

So far, the Ryan Gomes era has not exactly gotten with a bang. Through a total 49 games, he has played in 28 and started none. He is averaging 8.4 minutes in games in which he has played. He’s also not exactly filling it up with an average of 1.9 points per game and shooting a paltry 33% from the field. The one bright spot is that, and this is according to NBA.com, he ranks #14 in the league in offensive rebounds per 48 minutes. So, he’s got that going for him.

By far, his best game was against the Houston Rockets on November 13, 2005. There, he scored 8 points and pulled down 5 boards. Not exactly Tim Duncan,

The good news for the True Pride of Providence is that Al Jefferson and Kendrick Perkins have gone down with injuries. This means that Ryan will be seeing a big jump in his playing time. Hopefully, he will make good use of it.

The question now becomes: how does Ryan Gomes project in the NBA? I think he is a guy who has the potential to be a borderline All-Star. Before you start laughing too hard, let me explain my reasoning. In the NBA, he is forced to play small forward. This explains why The Well Dressed Man (Tim Welsh) allowed him to play farther from the basket his senior year. At 6’7, he has the perfect height for the position and can play power forward against smaller opponents.

In terms of his basketball strengths, his greatest asset is that he is a very intelligent player, which made him such a great percentage shooter from the field and gave him a serious advantage in rebounding. He’s also very strong and will be able to post-up smallish forwards (like Tayshaun Prince). What most people who didn’t watch him at Providence realize is that he is also exceptional in transition. Factor in smart defense and you have a serious NBA prospect.

I am not blind, however. He has always had serious conditioning problems that cost the Friars down the stretch in close games where he was required to play the full forty. Additionally, he isn’t a guy who can naturally drive to the hoop and finish with a strong dunk. He’s also always relied on his sweet jump shot to deliver the goods, which would present serious issues against larger, savvy forwards like Tim Duncan and Kevin Garnett.

In the end, I just hope that Doc Rivers is smart enough to Ryan some minutes and let him develop in the same way that Delonte West has.


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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Links: Better than work.

  1. http://www.superbowlmonday.com – This is a fantastic site advocating making Super Bowl Sunday a national holiday. Of course, the Monday after would have to be a day of observance. Speaking for everyone who had to drag themselves out of bed and go to school or work Monday morning I say: Gladiator, I salute you!
  2. The Origins of Chuck Norris Music Video – All great journeys begin with one step. In Chuck Norris’s case, it began with a karate manual he found on the ground.
  3. The Rules of Wedding Crashing – Handed down to us by the Great One. The Great One being Chazz Reingold.
  4. Chazz's Official Webpage – Speaking of Chaz, here’s his own personal website. I think that it must have been put up by New Line, since their site links to it. I call your attention to the rotating nun chucks. You have no idea!
  5. www.toddcleary.com – One more Crashers link for you. I’m sure you loved the crazy, artsy brother. This is his official website. It sports some great stuff, like his paintings and poetry. I was especially moved by his poem, “Death. You are my bitch lover.”
  6. The Bachelor Party Oath -- The Bachelor Party Oath – This is a wildly helpful site, especially with the current surge of the White Fever that everyone’s seem to have caught. I figured that I'd include it to keep with the "Good Times" theme that I've got going today.

Programming Note: I apologize for the infrequent updates the last couple of days. The wireless at school has been acting a lot funky. I promise that as soon as it’s sorted out, I’ll be back to writing and posting (instead of paying attention in FedTax).


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Monday, February 06, 2006

McDonald's...The Video Game!

So you think you have what it takes to be a McDonald’s champion? Prove it.


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Revenge: A dish best served family style.

Please forgive my law school nerd-acity. But this is a fantastic display of revenge and avarice.

Here’s the background:

In the Kelo case, the Supreme Court held that the government would be able to “take” the well-maintained land of an individual in order to serve the public purpose of economic development.

Now, a taking is when the government seizes private property for a “public purpose.” The federal and state governments are able to do this thru the takings clause in the 5th Amendment, as long as the party having her property seized receives “just compensation.” It is also important to note that municipal governments can take property when they have been delegated that power by their state.

Where it gets very sticky is when you try to define what a public purpose is. The easy case is an example where the property being taken is going to be used for an airport or a park or a municipal building. It’s easy because the government would still be holding onto the land.

In Kelo, New London wanted to give the land to Pfizer, who wanted to put in a new facility that would generate mucho tax dollars for the city. For a plurality of the court, the increased tax revenue was enough. A member of the plurality was Justice Souter.

The Reckoning

Apparently, some folks in New Hampshire didn’t like the outcome of Kelo all that much. In response, they drew up a nifty economic development plan that included taking Justice Souter’s beach front property and putting up a hotel. The name of the hotel: The Lost Liberty Hotel. While staying at the Lost Liberty Hotel, be sure to check out the Just Desserts Café. I’m not even making this up.


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Super Bowl Football Thoughts

Here goes nothing:

  1. Mike Holmgren is officially a shaky coach. He absolutely screwed the pooch on the final drive of the first half where, because of sloppy time management, Brown missed a 54-yard field goal. I haven’t closely examined the stats, but it seemed that every time a drive got going in the second half, the genius got away from the running game. John Madden was spot-on in calling out Holmgren’s time management in the final 2 minutes of the game. Hasselback(up) not spiking the ball cost the Gulls about 25 seconds on the clock. His biggest sin, however, was punting the ball with about 6 minutes to go in the game (it was a 4th and 10). In the Super Bowl, there is no tomorrow. The Lord favors the bold. The Football gods punish the meek. That's why Bill Cowher is wearing a championship hat.
  2. Ben Roethlisberger: There is a lot of dialogue out there how white players only get compared to white players and black quarterbacks only getting compared to black quarterbacks. It's in every sport, too. All you have to do is listen to the Larry Bird-Adam Morrison comparisons and Vince Young-Every Black QB ever to play the game comparisions. Let me hit you this cross-racial knowledge: Big Ben IS Donovan McNabb. He has a strong arm, but not Marino-strong. He’s mobile, but not Michael Vick-mobile. He also experiments with facial hair, but not in a Koy Detmer neck beard-kind-of-way. The only major difference between the two, after you count Ben’s ring, is that Roethlisberger doesn’t start vomiting in big spots.
  3. I’d also say that Andy Reid (another Mike Holmgren genius-apprentice) should take a page out of the Pittsburgh/Seattle/Denver playbook and realize that the run is a necessary supplement to the passing game. B-Ro looks like a great signal-caller because he isn't asked to make the offense run by himself, like Mac-5 is asked to. A strong running game would allow McNabb to take longer shots down the field and would also maximize his ability to get out of the pocket on bootlegs. As the old adage goes, when you’re a team that throws the ball 74% of the time, you’re a team that throws the ball 74% of the time.
  4. I thought that the Steelers would win the game. I thought and hoped that it would be a good game (I was wrong). I thought the commercials would be a let-down. That being said, I absolutely knew for a fact that Heinz Ward would cry regardless of the outcome. This is the guy who got, uh, a little too emotional last year after the AFC Championship game last year when talking about how much he loved Jerome Bettis. Let's just say the tears were free-flowing with a little over two minutes to go.
  5. All-in-all, it was a crappy end to a crappy play-offs. There was ONE exciting game in the whole lot. League officials didn’t help matters much. Going back to the 2003 playoffs, I never thought that refs could affect the playoffs as much as when they screwed the Giants in the Wild Card round against the Niners. I’m referring to the last-second play where the Niners weren’t called for pass interference because the Giant lineman was an ineligible receiver, even though he had declared himself eligible. Well, as always, I was wrong. Last night, the Stillers and the Gulls were both screwed sideways a bunch of times by the men in stripes. The Gulls got it especially bad on a yet-another pass interference call (this time on offense) that cost them a TD early in the game. Between last night, the Pats-Broncos game, and the Steelers-Colts game, this has not been the best month for the league. I’m just glad it’s over.
  6. My last last-minute addition. Here's a quote from a chat session on ESPN.com with Chuck Klosterman that is funny enough to share:

Question: If you get too drunk to remember a Super Bowl, does it still happen?

Chuck Klosterman: Yes. But the game is then played in Narnia.


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What is “advice and consent”?

A lot of squawk the last few days, on this blog and the venerable axisofright.blogspot.com, over what the Senate’s job is during the judicial confirmation process. As always, the answer, and the explanation, can always be found at The Baseball Crank. If you are a fan of baseball and interested in politics (with a dash of pop culture), you absolutely must read the Crank.

Below is a thumbnail sketch of the different philosophies that a senator could employ in choosing how to examine a judicial nominee, as supplied by the Baseball Crank. If you want the real thing, click here.

Deference to the President – This test is basically a minimum qualifications test, similar that you would find in the hiring practices of any Denny’s. The only difference is that instead of a GED and US citizenship, the nominee also has to have J.D.

Judicial Philosophy – This model calls for the Senate to examine whether or not a nominee has reasonable process for deciding issues called before her. This one seems the most wishy-washy of the bunch for me. It would seem to me that HOW a candidate would come down on some issues would tend to matter. Additionally, I don’t think that we need to be giving lawyers bonus points for rationalizing whatever crazy positions they come up with (see Same-Sex Marriage and the Mass. Supreme Court).

The President’s Promises – This one is preferred by the Crank. It states that, as long as the president has nominated someone consistent with the flag he campaigned under, the Senate should confirm.

The Senator’s Choice – This model allows each senator to vote however she wants. Much like Burger King, they can have it their way.

Consensus – The “Everyone Must Get Along and Play Nice” model. This model has the benefit of assuring that NO ONE would ever get appointed to any court. Personally, I don’t think that this one sounds all that bad...from a “I never liked the Court that much anyway” perspective.

Litmus Test – I actually like this framework the best. There are some issues that are deal-breakers in my mind. I would absolutely never vote for a pro-choice judicial nominee, for example. I suspect that many other pro-lifers advocating other models are secretly on-board with this philosophy. My support of this model also probably illustrates why I’d never make a very good judge (or senator, for that matter). NOTE: I understand that the flip side of this coin would allow the other guys to choose what their “litmus” issue is and I’m fine with that. All I ask is that there is less “hiding the ball.”

Status Quo – Bar none, the absolute worst philosophy. If applied throughout American history, we’d still have segregation. As it is, the federal courts are the least-democratic institution that we’ve got. This model would make it worse.


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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

For the ladies...

WORLD BEARD AND MOUSTACHE CHAMPIONSHIPS!

This is probably the greatest thing that I have ever seen. Team USA even has a blog. If you think that it doesn’t get much better than that, well, then you just have to check out the WBMC Store. The beer mugs are a steal at $9.

After perusing the website, I found out that I have a “natural” beard. “Natural” is, of course, a technical term.

To qualify as natural, the beard must flow downward and the moustache must be fully integrated. I need not tell you that integration is essential. Of course, “no artificial styling aids” are permitted.


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Tuesday Morning Quarterback

Gregg Easterbrook has been writing this column for a couple of years now. Click here to check it out.

For those of you not familiar with TMQ, it is a kind of thinking man’s football column. Easterbrook is a legit intellectual as well. I finished reading his book, The Progress Paradox, a couple of weeks ago and it was fantastic. On parenthetical note, his brother is a judge on the United States Court of Appeals in the Seventh Circuit, the Honorable Frank Easterbrook. Judge Easterbrook is a real econowank and I’ve gotten a heavy dose of his opinions in Contracts and Law & Economics.

Thoughts from the column:

  • Hall of Fame: I’ve thought for a while that people take the Hall way too seriously, especially in baseball. TMQ is right to say that we should just let any near-qualified candidate in, if only for the Big Uglies who never get any love.
  • Sex = Happiness: Probably explains why I’m in such a foul mood so often.
  • His nicknames for teams: Used to be real funny, but a little contrived at this point. I never was all that horny over his nicknaming gag. For instance, I never quite understood why he decided that Joe Gibbs should be called “Dumbledore”.
  • Laveranues Coles: Nice slap down. Never did like that guy.


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