Links: The Lazy Man’s Way

Steinbrenner guarantees victory – Cannon’s thoughts on the matter: this guarantee is probably the result of a 14-hour, Tom Collins bender with Joe Namath.

Roommate Death Struggle – Not me and Cannon. Now, we’ve all had disputes with roommates. It’s pretty rare, however, that a TP dispute results in death-by-claw hammer.

Freckled Curvy Paradise Update – Lindsay Lohan is apparently “infatuated" with Angelina Jolie. This is perhaps the greatest story ever. Remember that every time that Lohan makes somewhat-lesbianish statements about another hottie, an angel gets a.....um. Well, let’s just say that an angel gets something pretty awesome.

Stabucks in Stop & Shop – There are some combinations that need to happen. As a general matter, the more opportunities for coffee the better. All that I need now is for The Elm to open up a “to go” bar in WalMart and I’ll be all set. Thanks to Chiclet for the heads up.

Mom v. Yogi the Bear – This is an amazing story of a mother jumping in front of a polar bear to save her 7-year old son. I heard about this one on the radio yesterday and it’s pretty cool. In an equal feat of bravery, I killed a spider in my kitchen this morning. It was a very large spider.