Valentine’s Day: Iconoclast Style

The definition of ‘iconoclast’ is “one who attacks and seeks to overthrow traditional or popular ideas or institutions.” In this spirit, I have turned my all-seeing eye upon the institution of Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day is a cute holiday. There’s a lot to get your hands around. You’ve got your candy, Barry White songs, nice dinners, and making out with your lady. I get it and I can get down with it. My problem is that, annually, I spend it alone. Many people do so as well. More significantly, I don’t like the fact that The Man makes him feel bad about it.

Now it’s normal to feel lonely. In fact, I think it’s a good thing; it reminds us that it is important to share and value the love of others. Think about this analogy: that being thirsty doesn’t prove the existence of water, but it does prove that you are meant to drink water. It’s the same thing with loneliness.

That being said, screw Valentine’s Day. Screw the flowers. Screw the cards. Screw Sleepless in Seattle. Screw the whole damn thing. I’d say “Screw Barry White,” but he’s the Man and I don’t disrespect the dead.

I’m revolting. Wait, that didn’t come up right. I’m revolting against Valentine’s Day. Tomorrow, I declare war. I am going to have the best, god damn day of my life and there’s nothing Nora Ephron can do about it. I’m going to drink beer, watch guy movies, drink more beer, and I’m going to love every minute of it.

Most importantly, I’m gonna keep a running diary of it tomorrow. There will be numerous, shorter posts by me tomorrow as I log what is sure to be the greatest day of my already, great life. As the day rolls on, feel free to post comments with suggestions on how to make my day even more awesome or for something that someone else could do to make their day awesome. Maybe you think I should complete the alcoholic hat-trick, The Three Wise-Men. Maybe you’ve got this great idea for prank that I could on someone. Maybe I should go to the zoo and flip off the monkey? Who knows?

Stay strong!