Be a Philadelphia Phan for a Day
My goal this summer is to go to as many baseball games as I can afford. My first one is today. I’ll be watching the Phillies square off against the Cardinals. I’m not a diehard fan of either team, but I will be rooting for the Phillies. I guess that makes me a Philly fan for a day and I thought that it would be fun to share what goes into to being one.
Have lots of “passion”: Philly fans love to talk about their passion for their sports teams. They really love their teams. Not love in the sense that most people think of it, but love in the way that Orenthal loved his ex-wife and waiters.
Set Wildly High Expectations: This is very important. We’ve already established that they love their teams, it now becomes essential that you put all your hopes and dreams into their success. What’s success? A championship. If your son didn’t bring home straight A+’s and date the most attractive and popular girl in his class, you’d be pissed. You’d be so pissed that you’d probably...
Boo lustily: I once saw an ESPN documentary on the “love” of Philly fans that summed up their mentality pretty well: “A true Philadelphia fan learns how to boo before he learns how to walk.” Remember that you love your team so much that you’re unwilling to accept failure in any form. You need to convey to the players how much you love them. The boo is the best way to do that.
Harass other fans: I’ve made the mistake of wearing my Tedy Bruschi jersey out in public down here. I once went down a football tailgate before an Eagles game and wore my beloved #54. Before I even got out of the car I started getting yelled out. Let’s just say that the jersey came off. Here’s something else important: when you spot a fan of another team, you must start an Eagles chant. Even if you’re at a baseball game.
Know the Eagles Cheer: Yes, they have a cheer. It’s real simple. (Unless you’re drunk.)
E-A-G-L-E-S! EAGLES!
That’s it.
There is no middle ground: If you’re a fan in Philadelphia, you’re a religious zealot. What this should tell you is that there is no gray area. Either one of the four teams will lead you to the salvation that will come with a championship or not. There is no enjoyment in the ride.
posted by Iconoclast @ 12:12 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
Quick update on the game.
*The Phils lost.
*Ball park continues to look great.
*Ice cream from a plastic mini-helmet always tastes 15.2 than ice cream from any other container.
*Sporting events offer each of us the opportunity to get free stuff for signing up for credit cards that we never plan on using. If you don't do this, you can't be my friend.
*Wally could kick the Philly Phanatic's ass. Big time.
I have to object hardily to the "Wally" comment.
Also to assume that we don't enjoy the ride at all or that "ANYTHING" short of a championship is failure is off the mark a bit.
Let me break it down for all you out of towners.
The Booing, we reserve the right to be the first people to tell you if you suck. This is not one of those cozy sunny towns that Kisses your ass for going 0 for 4 for a month straight. We're going to let you know that we ARE watching, and paying attention.
The Eagles, yes this is the town horse, passion is the accurate word if you mean it in the sense of "passion of the Christ". Eagles fans live, breath, die, ache, and experience euphoria from play to play. Every bad play feels like a knife in the chest and every positive one feels like salvation. That Said 2 seasons ago was the greatest season to date and every eagles fan will tell you that.
Loyalty, philadelphia fans despise a traitor and love you forever if you're honest with them. I can't possibly compete in a "fantasy leagues" because I could never route for Chipper Jones or any player that didn't wear my colors I find that Idea turns my stomach. Philadelphia is one of the last cities that believes there is more to the uniform than just the guy in it. You should be willing to go out there and throw for 300 yards on a broken ankle because we break our banks and hearts to route you on.
Some rules to live by in Philadelphia,
Mike Schmidt is the greatest 3rd baseman of all time,
Buddy Ryan is the most beloved philadelphia coach and will recieve by far the loudest cheers of any ex Eagle.
Pete Rose is the greatest hitter of all time and should be allowed in the hall.
Reggie White is the best defensive end of all time comparisons to Mike Strahan or anyone else for that matter are obsurd.
The Dallass Cowboys are the Devil and satan on earth. If you think you have hatred for the yankees or vice versa the redsox, you have experienced but a glimpse of hate.
Some of Satans spawn, Scott Rolen, Terrell Owens, Jeremy Shokey, Troy Aikman, Merril Hodge, Mike Irvin, Deion Sanders, JD Drew, drunken Santa Claus.
Angels on earth, Ron Jaworski, Buddy Ryan, Mike Schmidt, Bob Clarke, Pete Rose, Wilt Chamberlin, Dr. J, Allen Iverson.
Oh and back where I started, the Philly Phanatic is the originator of the modern day mascot, he started it all and is therefore the best, and would lay law with Wally.
I must protest, the Phanatic is the only mascot brought to life in the Simpsons as the "Capitol City Goofball" wally is a mere underling.
Wally The Green Monster is an indomitable force. The Phanatic wouldn't even last 5 minutes.
The question is: how much would you pay to watch a death match between these two mascots? I'd say about 75 bucks.
What I'd especially love to see would be what type of outfit RemDog would dress Wally up in. Would he go for a gladiator theme or perhaps a cop, like he going to lay down the law? Either way, I'm sure a mace of some type would be involved.
As for the meat of your argument, I don't think I've ever seen Wilt Chamberlain described as an angel, but anyway.
I still got to disagree with you bro on the passion. The city's relationship with its teams is pretty ridiculous. If you look at attendance for the Sixers and the Phils this year, you can't tell me that Philly fans are watching. At both games, both venues were half-empty.
Here's a question, why the hell is Buddy Ryan the city's fav coach of all time? Because, you're right in saying that he is the #1 guy in the minds of most fans, I just don't understand why. He won ONE playoff game and perpetually underachieved. The nicest thing that I can say about the guy is that he developed a clever, gimmick offense with the Bears. Why isn't Andy Reid the Guy? He's brought you closer more often than Ryan ever did.
As for the ability of Philly fans to enjoy the ride, I just don't see that either. This Sixer team, which has no chance of winning a title, is wildly fun to watch. You've got a top-5 player in Iverson and fun, uptempo style of play. Despite all of that, fans are calling for trading Iverson and that the team sucks.
Also, Wally could probably kick Ron Jaworsky's ass.
I just don't get it.
One issue at a time:
Phillies 14 straight years of utter mis-management has driven the casual fan away from the park. But not neccessarily the Tv.
Sixers are a smaller version of the phillies, how many bad Billy King trades must one endure. As for their "fun to watch scale" not at all if you are in anyway knowledgable about the sport. Is it fun to watch horrible defense, and poorly executed offense? Maybe for a 6 year old who loves A.I. but for a fan who knows anything about the game the sixers are BRUTAL to watch, how many times to I have to watch Kyle Korver get lit up for 27 points from whoever he is guarding to realize he's not NBA material and should be used in a Robert Horry type fashion, come in, hit a shot, sit down.
Buddy Ryan was the total and utter opposite of both of the previously stated. Buddy would never sit on a prime time television show and say with a straight face that "Mike Liberthall is one of the 3 best catchers in the league and deserves his 7 million dollar salary". This is exactly the reason why Andy Reid hasn't endeared himself with the city yet. After a brutal gut wrenching 3rd straight NFC title game loss where grown men were seen crying leaving the stadium he said and I quote "we don't have any problem at wide reciever". Don't shit on my head and tell me it's gold. No one in this town respects that at all, and The sixers, Phillies, and Eagles have all done that of late to differing extents.
Don't bill the city for 400 million dollars in order to build a ball park that "continues to look great". And run that raggedy ass pitching staff, garbage catcher, 2 errors + per night third baseman, out on the field and wonder why people don't want to invest in the exhorbitant prices. Ryan Howard and Chase Utley should have been starting for the past two seasons so don't give me their names either. Believe me, just because I'm not in the seats of that stadium doesn't mean I'm not watching.
And by the way Buddy won just as many championships as Reid as an assistant, and just as many as a head coach. And when you talk about fun to watch, Make no mistake Randall and Reggie were extremely fun to watch even if they didn't win the championship and I look back fondly on it.
I think I'm just going to let this one go. If it keeps up at this rate, I'll have to start having Cannon start up my car for me.
In order to preserve my own life, I'm willing to concede the following:
*Randall Cunningham is the greatest QB of all-time and perhaps the most clutch. He never choked. He couldn't even spell 'choke'.
*There is such a thing as clutch.
*The Superbowl winners should be awarded The Buddy Ryan Trophy.
*The 4-6 Defense wasn't a cheap gimmick designed to frustrate dinosaur offenses.
*The blitz works all the time. If you're not rushing 14 men across the line on each play, you're failing.
*The 12 bucks I paid to get into Citizens Bank Park was too much money for the crappy product that I was forced to watch.
*Andy Reid is not half the coach that Buddy Ryan is and the only reason that he would say that Pinkston and Co. were good enough would be to insult the righteous fans of Philadelphia. In no way was he trying to maintain prescious leverage so that he might trade for a Top-Three receiver. Um, let's just move on.
*There is absolutely no reason to watch the Sixers. I am not a 6 year old and I'm foolish to want to spend my hard-loaned money to watch Allen Iverson play. Their offense is surely inept scoring nearly 100ppg.
*Finally, the Phils are the worst baseball franchise ever. David Bell average 57 errors a night and should be shot. Ryan Madsen, Jon Lieber, and Bret Myers should be traded for someone who can really pitch, like Matt Clement. Phillies fans def have it worse than Pittsburgh fans, Milwaukee fans, Expos fans, Devil Ray fans, and fans of country music.
Ughhh you've gone the wrong way with what I've said.
Yeah Randall is the greatest ever just like Brady is right? or Bledsoe was,
I'm sure the 'Buddy Ryan' trophy would only come second to naming it the 'Monument to Belicheck'
I suppose the 46 defense sucked and had no credence whatsoever when taken out of it's time and context, just like the idea of a forward pass 70 years ago or the 3-4 defense ten years from now.
The 12 bucks it took to get into the park I suppose doesn't get added to the (5 dollar hot dog, 9 dollar ice cream in helmet and 5.50 soda) x 4 if you've taken your family to the park after they've hit your city up for 400 mill to build a park they perrenially lose in. Then again atleast in Milwalkee you get to see their mascot go down a slide when they hit a dinger. The difference here is you're in a major market and though turn around is expected as well as cycles, no one in this town would stand for an L.A. Clippers type franchise that takes your money, gives you somthing to spend two hours doing, but doesn't expect you to give a crap about the outcome.
Andy Reid is a better head coach than Buddy I never said he wasn't, I merely said he wasn't as well liked. However if everyone in the building is seeing the exact same problem why are we told we're not really seeing it? If you don't like the wide reciever argument which is completely viable, lets go outside linebacker, Dhani Jones is the most clearly read jersey on the field because he's constantly running directly behind the other teams tight end as he is streaking towards the end zone.
Yeah it's fun to watch allen put up 30-50 per night but how many times do I have to watch c-webb clank ill advised threes on fast breaks, and I don't care if you put up 150 per night if the other team is consistently scoring 180 the fun gets dull after 5 years of the same thing.
And to bring it back to the begining just because a team doesn't win doesn't mean I'm not watching I saw every gut wrenching game of the 6-10 season last year, Just like I did when they went 5-11, 3-13, and the list goes on.
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