NEWS FLASH: Ryan Gomes Retroactively Placed on Eastern Conference All-Stars

Not to sound like a broken record, but Ryan Gomes just scored a new career-high against the Sixers (29 points). He also pulled down 11 rebounds. Even better, I actually got to watch this game. Judging from his performance, I think it’s safe to assume that he is the most indomitable force in this universe or any other.

In light of recent events, I am now calling upon Coach K to place Ryan on Team USA. Even better, he should be made team captain. If Coach K doesn’t do this immediately, I’m prepared to play a little game I like to call “See How Loud You Can Make The Head Coach of Duke Basketball Scream.” The rules are simple: I get to use needle-nose pliers; not on Coach K, but on JJ Redick and Shane Battier.

[I still have a lot of pent up frustration over the Iverson debacle. You also get bonus points if you can tell me what SNL sketch I’m borrowing from.]

It’s also time that Ryan got a cool nickname. I’m thinking “The Baron of the Boards” or “Night Train.” It’s still a work in progress, but I’d also accept something short and powerful, like “The Duke.”