The Day the Red Sox Locked Up the Division

The Red Sox have reacquired, through a trade, Doug Mirabelli. Just let that sink in for a moment.

Who will the Sox acquire next? Could Lou Merloni be on the horizon? How about Brandon Lyon and David McCarty? Dare I say, Cesar Crespo?

In all seriousness news, this is great for the team. Here are some interesting points on this earth-shattering bit of news:

1. Doug Fatandsmelly can catch a knuckleball. This may not sound like a big deal. But on my car ride home the other night, Josh Bard had FOUR PASSED BALLS. The prospect of having to catch Wakefield was so demoralizing that it actually forced John Flaherty into retirement (that or not being very good at baseball).
2. Doug does not wear batting gloves. Two years ago this would have meant nothing to me. Unfortunately, through Moises Alou and Jorge "Metrosexual Pinocchio" Posada, we've learned that players who don't wear batting gloves toughen up their hands by urinating on them (to avoid blisters). As if you didn't have enough reasons before to not want to touch Dougie before.
3. He's very fat and so am I.
4. He's a pretty ridiculous guy. My favorite Mirabelli moment was during a game up in Toronto at night, he had on his eye-black and and shin guards...for a game that he wasn't starting. That's right. Eye-black at night in a dome.

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