Upset City, Baby!

Here are the results from the Scrumtrelescent Sixteen. As a shout-out to a hold hobby of mine, I’ve included a bunch of haikus. There’s even a few “bonus” haikus from a big fan of Jenna Bush. [This is an expandable post.]

Los Angeles-Young Hot Actresses Region

S. Michelle Gellar(5) 64
Kirsten Dunst(9) 66

Buffy has been slain.
The Grudge kinda creeped me out.
Dunst comes out on top.

Kate Beckinsale(2) 63
Keira Knightley(3) 100

Powered by God-Dust.
Keira is too hot for Kate.
Pride & Dominance.

Milwaukee-Hodgepodge Region

Maria Sharapova(1) 75
US Curl Team(5) 81

Tennis is boring.
Sharapova’s a long name.
Curl girls forever.

Stacey Kiebler(3) 62
Barbara Bush(7) 74

Dubya’s baby girl
Throttled this wrestling dancer.
Go Cinderella!

New York-Older Ladies Region

Kelly Rippa(1) 87
Sandra Bullock(12) 95(2ot)

Wow! Two overtimes!
Regis, inconsolable.
Sandy’s tenacious.

Ashley Judd(2) 62
Eva Longoria(3) 69

Nothing desperate here.
Eva is really tiny.
Love the Latinas.

Philly-Skanks Region

Heather Graham(1) 91
Jenna Bush(4) 92(ot)

Rollergirl is done.
Frozen daiquiris for all.
Hotter than Barb Bush.

BONUS HAIKU NEWS: For giggles, I googled “jenna bush haiku” and found an, um, interesting site that seems to feature a lot of content on Jenna, including haikus. Here’s a smattering:

I saw Jenna Bush's
face in a potato chip.
She tasted salty

Jenna Bush beguiles,
arouses me, because she
looks like my cousin

For moral guidance,
I ask myself a question -
"What would Jenna drink?"

Last night's dream featured
Jenna Bush cleaning my house,
dusting my long horn

Lindsay Lohan(2) 83
Jennifer Lopez(3) 87

How could J-Ho win?
Freckled, Curvy Paradise.
Fare thee well, Lindsay.