The Entrancing Eight
The similarities between this simulated tournament and the NCAA tourney is starting to get freaky. For the first time in the history of this tournament, all of the remaining one seeds were knocked off in the Round Mounds of 16. The best part of this whole exercise is that 6 of the remaining 8 ladies are all bunch together seed-wise, which means that it’s anybody’s to win.[This is an expandable post....with yet more haikus.]
Los Angeles Regional Final
Keira Knightley(3) 89
Kirsten Dunst(9) 68
Jail bait no more.
Keira is ready to roll.
Kirsten just got rocked.
BONUS COVERAGE: I got to watch King Arthur this weekend. (Knightley plays Guinevere.) There’s been a recent rush to make crappy epics that are trying to be Gladiator and Braveheart. The almost all fail. The most egregious of these rip-offs are Kingdom of Heaven and Alexander. When I tuned into check Arthur, let’s just say that the bar was set real low. I was pleasantly surprised. It even gave me something that I had never seen before: Knightley’s nipples. GOTCHA! You don’t get to see those, but the movie does deliver a battle on a pond that’s iced over. My only two qualms with the movie was the casting of Lancelot (it was Mr. Fantastic) and Knightley’s battle scenes. Other than that, I give it 3 ½ Blood Axes out of 4 Bloody Axes.
Milwaukee Regional Final
US Curling Team(5) 84
Barbara Bush(7) 61
Bring down The Hammer.
Dreams of an all-Bush
battle are now squashed.
New York Regional Final
Eva Longoria(3) 81
Sandra Bullock(12) 83(ot)
Not Cinderella.
Just call her Sandra-ella.
Eva’s desperate.
Philly Regional Final
Jennifer Lopez(3) 88
Jenna Bush(4) 90
There is one Bush left.
When it is time to party,
Jenna parties hard.
posted by Iconoclast @ 12:07 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Oc,
Glad to know that I'm not alone on this one. The only thing keeping her from being a higher seed was my own self-control.
Just for giggles I checked out her IMDB profile. I'm amazed by all the crappy movies that she's been in. Here's a sampling in no particular order: Practical Magic (sucky witch movie with Nicole Kidman), Hope Floats (so does poop), The Net, Ya-Ya Lady Flick, and Miss Congeniality...2. That's a murderer's row of suck right there. Somehow I also managed to forget Forces of Nature with the Ben Affleck. Wow.
Now you're probably asking what good movies has she been in? I love where your head's at. Let's see, the most obvious is Speed. After that, discounting her two decent Lady Flicks (While Your Were Sleeping and Two Weeks Notice), the only other passable movie is Demolition Man. Let's just say that it's a pretty safe bet that I don't have Demolition Man on DVD.
What can we take from this? I think the biggest lesson is that when you have an attractive lady who doesn't appear to be a bitch, people will go out and see whatever crap movies she makes. Reese Whitherspoon, I'm looking at you.
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